Regrets
by CollinsDoc
Summary: Santana doesn't know what she wants or what to do next. All she knows is the way she left Brittany was terrible. There's no going back now, she's know what she is doing is terrible, but she can't change it. The only thing she feels not is regret.


I hate saying goodbye, to anyone. I knew saying bye to Brittany was going to be so hard. So I made a decision, I wouldn't say goodbye.

As soon as I left, I regretted my decision.

/

When I was checked into my dorm and my parents had left, I checked my phone. Brittany had called 27 times, and left 12 messages. In each message she sounded more and more sad. In the last message, she was sobbing. I wanted to call her back, I really did, but I couldn't, so I texted her.

_Sorry I left without saying goodbye. I got up late and had to rush._

It was a lie but I knew she wouldn't be able to tell. She texted me back quickly.

_It's ok San. Wanna Skype?_

I lied again.

_Can't, orientation. I haven't unpacked my computer anyway, gotta go. Xoxo Santana_

I hit the power button on my phone and threw it on my bed. A red headed girl walked in with headphones in.

"Hello?" I said to her. She didn't hear me so I threw a pillow at her head. She whipped around and smiled.

"Hi! You must be Santana! I'm Carly! It's so great to meet you!" She reached out to grab my hand and shook it really hardly. I just nod my head. I hate her already. I start to unpack my things, I set a picture of Brittany and I on my dresser. It's from our freshman year and we're wearing our cheerios uniforms for the first time. I smile at the picture, good times.

Carly slaps her hands on my shoulders and startles me, "Oh my god! Don't tell me you're a cheerleader too!-" I listen to her request and just stand there in silence, "-We are going to be best friends! We'll get to spend every day together, date football players, and-"

I cut her off, "Listen up little Miss Sunshine, here's how it's gon work. You shut the hell up like, all the time or I'll go all Lima Heights on your ass. Talk to me outside this room and you'll never see daylight again. Oh and I'm kind of into girls so have fun dating your football player."

Carly just stood there in silence. I've still got it, I think with a smirk on my face.

Some girl popped up in our doorway, "Hi, I'm Hannah Gold, leader of this dorm, there's a party later, tons of guys are going to be there. Santana, Carly, you guys in?"

"Sure," I say. Carly just nods her head, still shocked by my mini rampage.

"Awww poor Carly. Is Auntie Snix too much for you?" I even get a good laugh at that one, never gets old.

/

I follow Hannah into the boys dorm, before we go down into the basement I scan what both Carly and Hannah are wearing. Carly is wearing a bubblegum pink dress that does nothing for her shape, I'm not surprised by this at all. Hannah looks decent, she's wearing a blue skater dress with black pumps. I look smoking hot, as usual, I'm wearing a skin tight red dress that cuts off right below my ass and has a nice plunging neck line showing off the twins.

I'll go after guys tonight. I think to myself as we walk down the basement steps, first impressions are always the most important. I don't want these people to think I'm some gay freak the first night I'm here.

Right when I walk into the basement the music is blaring. I scan the premises for any cute guys but don't see any that really stand out, no girls either.

"Have fun girls! Mingle!" shouts Hannah, then she runs off to join some of her friends. I just stand there for a minute with Carly then I slowly walk away. I hear some guys whistle at me as I walk to the punch bowl. One guy grabs my ass, pulls me to his chest and looks right down my shirt. I'm able to push away from him and get some punch. Not failing to tell him to fuck off before I push away.

I'm pouring myself a glass of punch when some jerk nocks into me and I spill the juice down my dress. I stand there for a minute with my mouth open, the guy doesn't even realize what he did. He's still playing catch with one of his buddies when his friend tells him to turn around because some chick is cursing at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I yell as he turns around. "I just got this fucking dress! It was like $200. Whatch where you're going dick head!"

"Sorry….I didn't mean it." He says as I curse him out. He slowly moves away and him friend comes over.

"I'm really sorry about him. I told him to watch his back." Said the boy.

"Well you're the one who threw the fucking ball to hi-" I look up into his eyes and stop talking. He's gorgeous, he has light purple eyes and blonde hair. He's toned and muscular, I can tell, well he doesn't even have a shirt on. I forget about the sticky liquid covering the girls and a tingling sensation takes over me. I need him fucking me, now.

"Hey, we should go somewhere quieter. I'm Vincent by the way, you can call me Vinny though." He says. I just stare up into his eyes for a while. I notice he's much taller than me, I have to crane my neck to look into his eyes. I stop staring and tell him my name.

"Santana." I blurt out. I sound like an idiot.

"Ok, Santana, We can go somewhere else, my car is out back." I follow Vincent out to his car, he opens the door for me and I hop in.

We talk about everything, he tells me he has and older sister that lives in New York, he's from Sacremento, California. His parents live there now, and his sister used to before college. He plays rugby at school, he's in his second year of college. Then I tell him about myself.

I am, or atleast used to be gay, I didn't say goodbye to my girlfriend before I left. In my mind we're not together anymore. I'm from Lima, Ohio. My parents act like we're the perfect little family, but we've never been. Dad always cheated, but my mom didn't want to leave because I was there. I don't have any siblings, my parents spoiled me to a point where I was taking baths in custom toys and designer clothes. I've always been a bitch, but I've gotten better. When we were done talking, we were back at my dorm.

"I had so much more fun with you in this car than at that party Vincent. Thank you." I started to heat up and needed to get out of the car before I turned and kissed him. I could feel the sparks and I wasn't even touching him. I knew he wanted to fuck me and he knew I wanted to fuck him. I reached to get out of the car but as I stood up he grabbed my wrist. I sat back down in the seat and looked at him.

I dove into his lips so fast, I couldn't stop myself. I was being really rough for our first make out session, but I didn't care. I loved him and I barely knew him. I stopped for a second and dove into the back of the car. He followed and got on top of me. He ripped his shirt off and wiggled out of his pants. Then he carefully slid my dress off. I was wearing my purple push up bra, it doubles my cup size, and matching lace underwear. He tried to take off my underwear but I wouldn't let him. I wasn't ready for that yet, and he understood.

I grabbed his face kissing him as hard as I could. I whirled my tongue around in his mouth and he did the same to me. His mouth tasted so minty and delicious. I felt my chest pressing against his. He reached up and put a hand on my chest, just touching my breast. I reached on my back and unlached my bra, I let him pull it off. He press his pelvis into mine and grinded hard. I heard myself moaning and I saw him smile.

He sat me up and put my back against the door. He kissed me so hard I thought my jaw would break. I kissed him back even harder. I wanted more, it wasn't enough but I knew I couldn't just let some guy I'd just met into my pants. He released me from his tight grip, kissing me lightly from my chest, to my lips, then to my stomach, and licking my neck. All of a sudden I stopped. I tensed up. Brittany kissed me on my neck like that.

"Santana what's wrong?" He said to me out of breath.

I searched his eyes for a second and responded with a hard kiss, and we kept going. Sweat, that's all I felt until we were done. Sweat, because I felt like I was cheating on Brittany. I was, but I knew there was no going back now. Either I take Vinny and loose Brittany, or I loose them both.

We stopped kissing for a while and I remember muttering, I love you, then drifting off to sleep.


End file.
